From the book Bless Me, Ultima

"Love life, and if despair enters your heart, look for me in the evenings
when the wind is gentle and the owls sing in the hills.
I shall be with you." -Ultima

Lessons From Oprah

There is something to be said for Oprah being one of the most influential women in the world.
Today on and episode about women finding out their spouses have secrets, she
references a lesson by Maya Angelou in which she says,
"The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them."

Oprah elaborates by saying that once someone lies, accept them as a liar. Once someone cheats, accept them as someone with the capability to cheat again, etc.


If only more women could accept that, I feel like everyone would be a little bit stronger and a little bit happier.

Parents do not have it figured out.

Unsupportive, condescending, and discouraging.


Rage.

A Dream Within A Dream by Edgar Allan Poe

A Dream Within A Dream by Edgar Allan Poe:

"Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow-
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand-
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep- while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?"

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Job interview today, Knoxville on Monday, School on Wednesday, turning the big 2-2 on the 16th...

There's a lump in my throat, and I'm overwhelmed with fear and pessimism that I've got it all wrong. I need new music and a long drive so that I can just get out there and confront myself with all of these feelings that I nonchalantly cast aside month ago.

From my experience, there are two kinds of boys: boys that break your heart and boys that break your faith.

Unfortunately, I don't know what to do about the latter.

These days I'm in a constant state of inadequacy...feeling like no matter where I am or who I am with, I'm lacking something to contribute.

I'm the "Ms. Right Now" to every guy I meet, but I have this fear that I will never gain what I need to evolve into "Ms. Right."

I get anxious in social situations, and every time I meet a new guy I want to run away. I'm having such a hard time breaking down these barriers that I built...



I watched Nights in Rodanthe with the girls last night, and I appreciate that love can exist in movies and books. I also just finished reading Love the One You're With by Emily Giffin which was a quick read and guilty pleasure, and both of these have recently sparked some sense of emotion that gives me hope.



I still dream of lighthouses and sailboats,
so maybe not all is lost.